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Flirting ARTICLES

Body Talk And Flirting

29th August 2008

By MELANY KARRMICHAEL

Most of us spend the first twenty years of our lives getting an education to prepare us for the big wide world, but although sex plays a huge role in our lives, education for sexual harmony and fulfilment is almost non-existent. Reading the odd sex manual or participating in sex education classes at school is more likely to make us worry that we won't be able to do all the right things and will let our partner down.

It is important to have a basic knowledge of sex, but we need to do more than just learn new techniques. We need to evaluate our sexuality and develop the ability to communicate what we feel with our partner. This is the only way to reach a deep level of sexual understanding in a relationship. Sexuality is more than just having sex - it is a blend of mental, emotional and spiritual energies. We need to bare our innermost feelings and sense each other's needs in order to fulfil them.

We need to use all our senses - eyes, ears, nose, hands and mouth. Look openly at each other, listen to the sounds we make together and talk freely. Get in tune with what our senses are trying to tell us. Our bodies communicate a lot of information to others - a sigh, a gesture, a raised eyebrow - all convey messages. We can often say a lot more with our bodies than with our mouths. Lack of communication is one of the main reasons for the break-up of marriages and relationships. A woman might like to be touched in a certain place in a certain way, but she is simply too shy to tell her husband or partner what she wants. This leaves her feeling frustrated and disappointed and her husband will sense this, but not know what he's done wrong.

I guess it's to be expected in a society which, even in this day and age, still brings kids up to believe that sex is something dirty and shouldn't be talked about. Combined with all the old wives' tales about masturbation, parents are probably hoping to keep their children pure until marriage. Well, all that a prim and proper upbringing does is turn these terrified tots into anxious adults who spend the rest of their days trying to suppress their sexual needs and desires. They are too embarrassed to make a sound during lovemaking and are too busy worrying about someone hearing them, than focusing on enjoying themselves.

So, now it's up to us to forget all these taboos and restrictions, experiment and explore to our heart's content and learn the natural and healthy ways to please each other. We need to let ourselves go and share each other's sexual fantasies. As soon as we realise that all mutually agreeable sexual activities are right, good and healthy, we will discover a level of enjoyment we never knew existed.