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Relationships ARTICLES

Meet Your Match

09th September 2008

You've finally decided that it's time to get back in the saddle again, but how? Your confidence is at an all time low and the mere thought of talking to someone you fancy makes you feel ill. Well, the good news is that everyone's been there at some stage in their lives and you'd be surprised at how easy it is to overcome your doubts and fears. Once you have your first date behind you, you won't believe how nervous you were in the beginning.

The first thing you have to do is to stand in front of a full-length mirror. Focus on the things that you are happy with. Maybe your almond-shaped eyes or your lovely curly hair. Think of ways that you could enhance these features even more before you tackle any bigger problems you may have, like losing a few pounds or toning up your muscles. This way your confidence will get an immediate boost and will motivate you to continue making improvements.

Now stand up straight and smile! This is how you need to present yourself when you meet people. Look them in the eye (but without staring psychotically), take a slight bow and shake their hand firmly. The next step is to think of a good place to meet someone of a similar age with whom you'll at least have something in common with. Make a list of your hobbies and see if there are any local clubs which you could join, whether it's swimming, embroidery or football, it doesn't really matter, as long as it gets you out there meeting people.

Waiting for a bus or queuing at the cinema are good places to start a conversation with someone. It's makes the wait a lot more pleasant and gives you a chance to subtly quiz the other person. You can also find out discreetly if they live nearby and casually suggest meeting up for a coffee sometime. If you are in the supermarket and spot someone you'd like to get to know a bit better, take a sneaky look in their trolley first, it will tell you a lot about them. If like mine it is full of gourmet cat food, make-up products and finest ready meals, you can be sure that the person is single.

If you are the intellectual type, book shops with their own coffee bars are a great place to tests your flirting skills. Not only can you see exactly what kind of reading material the person is interested in before you even bother approaching them, but you can enjoy a large cappuccino while you carry out your investigations! Once you've made brief eye contact and exchanged a couple of shy smiles, go over and introduce yourself as above and surrounded by thousands of books, you should have enough topics of conversation!

Sincere sounding compliments are a sure-fire way of getting your foot in the door, but the key really is in making them sound sincere, women especially can spot a slimy come-on a mile away. Something like "Sorry, but I just couldn't help noticing - your hair / outfit / smile / perfume really is lovely!" is bound to make anyone's day. Hold your head up high, be honest, friendly and positive and I can promise that you won't be single for long!

By MELANY KARRMICHAEL